Sunday 20 February 2011

A National disTrust Conglomeration of Misfits - NdTNI

The National disTrust of Northern Ireland - NdTNI
A conglomeration of misfits some might say, but a conglomeration nonetheless of the most ordinary of concerned citizens, all of whom at one time or another have been caused suffering and misery by the actions of a totalitarian regime. The aggrieved tourists concerned at the increasingly excessive charges being levied upon access to the countryside, the aggrieved tourists being charged humungous prices for alleged slum dwelling vacations, the landowners being allegedly deprived of their lands, and their livelihoods, the entrepreneurs allegedly being trampled upon by an alleged out of control greed fuelled monstrous totalitarian regime.

Thanks to each and every one of the ever swelling conglomerate for their individual talents, their expertise, knowledge, time, their possessions, and all of those who have passed on numerous official documents, information, and suggestions, no matter how absurd some have been. Apart from the at times unexpected results, all contributions have been invaluable, even the temporary use of personal web domains, despite the confusion they've caused, the end result will no doubt be fruitful.

Finally for now the allegations of a culture of lies, secrecy, intimidation, threats, subversive interference, all to be examined, and the allegations of the use of alleged cohort Governmental departments and officials, a more than serious issue currently being addressed in the updated 'About the NdTNI'. Confusion is rumoured to be good for the soul.

In a democratic society, not that Northern Ireland has the most democratic of Governments, every individual citizen has the right to peaceful protest, every individual citizen has the right to question the Government, and every individual citizen has the right to freedom of speech and expression which are extremely important rights; in the United Kingdom we have the right to express ourselves without persecution from others.

Disclaimer: The National disTrust of Northern Ireland is not in anyway associated with any other organisation, charity, or Limited Company within the current secondary Universe, or with any other organisation, charity, or Limited Company possessing the remotest of similar secondary names, although Senior Management members of the non-existent National disTrust staff may at times claim to be in the employ of other non-related organisations of the planet Mars, all such claims should be regarded as mere fictional fairy stories from a twisted secondary warped speed mindset.

Membership of the National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun and its alleged illegitimate offspring the alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland is strictly restricted to official residents of the planet Ballykaziyermaun, and all illegal immigrants from the aforementioned planet Ballykaziyermaun now holidaying in an unspecified alien Spacecraft Park in Northern Ireland which in turn is allegedly awaiting official Northern Ireland Tourist Plank 4 Star Spacecraft Park Declassification.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

Castle Ward Caravan Park Still Claiming 4Star NITB Status

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy
Over at whatdotheyknow.com, what seems to have been a perfectly legitimate Freedom of Information request was asked of the NITB, which was why the Northern Ireland Tourist Board was condoning the serious misrepresentation actions of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park?

To be fair, the Northern Ireland Tourist Board responded by saying: 'NITB does not condone ‘serious misrepresentation actions’ by any organisation and have not condoned the issue of a letter by Castleward Caravan Park claiming they had received their four star rating.'

The Northern Ireland Tourist Board then went on to say: 'NITB’s standard procedure and protocol, in relation to any tourist accommodation claiming they have a star rating which they don’t have, is to initially instruct the premises by telephone to remove all reference to this. If appropriate, NITB will follow this up in writing giving a deadline by which this must be done. If the premises refuses to do so, NITB will issue a final written warning and liaise with its legal team to discuss legal action. As soon as NITB was made aware that Castleward Caravan Park had issued a letter referring to a grading which they did not have, we investigated this matter by contacting both the independent assessor and Castleward Caravan Park directly. Castleward Caravan Park advised us that the letter they issued was incorrect and confirmed that this should not have contained any reference to the grading which they hope to achieve later this year. In this instance, NITB has determined that no further action is required at this time. However, as mentioned previously, NITB will monitor the situation and take appropriate action when necessary.'

The National Trust have just begun advertising for a 'Caravan and Accommodations Supervisor' for Castle Ward, and online under 'DIMENSIONS OF THE ROLE' it would appear that amongst other duties, the successful applicant will be accountable for: 'Castle Ward caravan/ campsite (NITB 4 star) Castle Ward Base Camp, Castle Ward Holiday Cottages (Potters Cottage NITB 4 star, Downpatrick Gate Lodge NITB 3 star, Murlough Cottage, Murlough Gate Lodge)'

'However, as mentioned previously, NITB will monitor the situation and take appropriate action when necessary.'

Perhaps therefore, being aware of the repeated false claim of the National Trust, the Northern Ireland Tourist Board would now care to comment on this further act of blatant misrepresentaion by the National Trust or is it the case that the previous blog posting 'Why Do We Need The Northern Ireland Tourist Board When We Have The National Trust?' really does say it all? Who does need the Northern Ireland Tourist Board, certainly not the National Trust Tourist Board!

No, we are not going to raise the subject of the aforementioned Potters Cottage NITB 4 Star Rating, or the Downpatrick Gate Lodge NITB 3 Star Rating, preferring to assume, rightly or wrongly, that even the National Trust Senior Management are not that stupid.

Tuesday 15 February 2011

The Building of a National Trust Empire

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy
The building of an Empire has been defined as being the act of increasing the size and scope of an organization's power and influence. Throughout the recent Labour Government fuelled Boom years which ended with a most spectacular Bang, property developers throughout the North of Ireland, and elsewhere, participated in the Empire building game with a heart and a half, and other people’s money. The rules of the Empire building game were simple, there weren't any, it was trample on whosoever dared stand in the way of 'progress', it was dog eat dog, on the way to the top rung of the ladder, somewhere up there in cloud cuckoo land.

Empire building has also been said to be unhealthy for a corporation, any corporation, as senior managers become more concerned with acquiring greater resource control than with optimally allocating resources, and any corporate controls imposed by a company's board and senior management are supposed to prevent empire building within a corporation's ranks, which in theory probably sounds good to somebody.

Luckily, or eventually it might be, for the 'peasants', the Empire building property developers ignored all the non-existent rules, and the Bank of the Golden Goose not only stopped laying it's Golden Eggs, it demanded they be returned, with interest, and why was this? Simple, the greed infested arrogant bankers had also been Empire building, and they also had chosen to ignore the non-existent rules. It's also been stated that failure to screen out empire builders can lead to corporate actions that do not necessarily provide the best growth opportunities for a corporation and its members, such as acquisitions made to boost the control of senior management.

While we all cheered as news broke of the next greed fuelled arrogant land grabbing developer to tumble from on high, the downside was as usual the innocent victims, the families left without incomes, without their homes, left to beg for Government handouts. May each and every corrupt greedy Empire builder rot in Hell, the innocent victims might rightly ask of their God.

Now, about those other Empire builders, using not money from the Bank of High Street, rather the alleged Bank of Us Peasants, their alleged arrogance defies belief, their wings require clipping, never though by those they control, those queuing for the riches to be had from the new Golden Goose, a National Park after the next election anyone!

Sunday 13 February 2011

The National disTrust, NdTNI, HMRC and Moral Status

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy
Without morals, Charity begins with a Limited Company, it's all perfectly legal of course, being a Registered Charity and a Limited Company, and being both allegedly comes with fringe benefits. As a Charity it would probably be allegedly possible for the National disTrust of Northern Ireland (NdTNI) to apply for and receive eye watering Government handouts, even if the alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland Limited had a healthy yearly turnover and several £Million stashed way in the bank, or that could even be plural, as in banks.

With the foregoing scenario one might rightly ask why the unCharitable - National disTrust of Northern Ireland (NdTNI) - would require a sizeable Government handout, and rightly so. The answer can be complex, or simple. Simple though is nothing more than an opt out for the simple minded, nonetheless the simple answer is simple: If the Government of the day is full of alleged simpleton puppets, why not? And besides, there is always the question of who has their hands on those all important puppet strings, therefore I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you, and many riches will be yours, even if you waste them on the barren lands of Norn Iron, the new Empire.

A more complex answer would be to lay the blame, the whole blame and nothing but the blame at the door of HMRC a subject about which it would undoubtedly be possible to speak eloquently for many hours. Hours of utter drivel of course, but it is they and they alone, the HMRC, who is responsible for all of the ills suffered by the unCharitable - National disTrust of Northern Ireland (NdTNI). The HMRC has the authority to enforce huge fee increases upon the all new Declassified but deRatified 4 Star Spacecraft Park. HMRC without any known rhyme or reason use their absolute power on a yearly basis to further ensure the NdTNI operates at a sizeable financial loss, year on year, though not the National disTrust on Planet Ballykaziyermaun you understand, merely the NdTNI in Northern Ireland, so says leastways some eejit in the unemploy of the NdTNI.

Due to incompetent NdTNI staff employment arrangements, all highly over paid members of the NdTNI staff, despite allegedly being ungainfully employed on other interplanetary mediums, most honourably perform any necessary deed, and speak any utter drivel, true or otherwise as is necessary to serve and protect the NdTNI from any and all potential threatening Aliens from wheresoever they might or might not invade the NdTNI, therefore, understandably, none of the foregoing drivel is true, and is for the consumption of only those that know nothing. Also therefore allegedly untrue is the alleged scurrilous rumour suggesting an NdTNI interplanetary spacecraft crash landed on Planet Anus seriously injuring the robotic No. 5 crew members, many of whom have since been allegedly disassembled lest they wreak verbal havoc on aforementioned Planet Anus.

Thursday 10 February 2011

One Mythical Giant + One Minister + One National Trust = £9.25 Million

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy
An inquisitive Northern Ireland tourist recently asked of the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment in a Freedom of Information request, if in light of the current rumoured allegedly serious allegations involving the Northern Ireland National Trust, whether or not, the DETI Minister Arlene Foster retained full confidence in the ability of the National Trust to carry out to it's successful conclusion the Giants Causeway project; bearing in mind of course, that £9.25 million of taxpayers money has been reportedly channelled into the aforementioned project?

Following is the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment (DETI) reply to the aforementioned inquisitive tourist:

'Thank you for your e-mail of 19 January to Arlene Foster MLA, Minister of Enterprise, Trade and Investment regarding the National Trust and the Giant's Causeway project. The Minister has read your correspondence and has asked me to reply on her behalf.

Work is currently underway on the development of new visitor facilities at the Giants Causeway. Gilbert Ash was successful in the public tender to carry out the main construction works and work on site is progressing well. The Northern Ireland Tourist Board (NITB) is confident that the project is on schedule for completion in 2012.

The Giant's Causeway Visitor Experience (GCVE) is an exemplar of good governance. NITB as a funder for such a large scale strategic project must ensure that it is economically and financially viable offering good value for money. The implementation of the Gateway Process, perceived as best practice will assist in terms of ascertaining the project’s viability and robustness. GCVE to date has progressed successfully through stage 2 and 3 of the Gateway process. NITB is committed to the successful completion of the project and are confident that the new facilities will enhance the visitor experience along Northem lreland’s premier driving route the Causeway Coastal Route (CCR).

Regular meetings take place with National Trust through an established project board.

A recent press release stated that total project costs of £18.5m included taxpayer contribution of £9.25m. In fact the funding mix, managed by NITB, is made up of £3.125m Govemment financial assistance and £6.125m from the European Regional Development Fund under the European Sustainable Competitiveness Programme for Northern Ireland. National Trust will provide £6.25m and the Heritage Lottery Fund awarded financial assistance of £3m. NITB and National Trust are dedicated to the project and certain that every effort is being made to ensure the successful completion of the new visitor facilities at the Giant's Causeway.'

Note that rather than declaring the National Trust retained the implicit support of DETI Minister Arlene Foster, the DETI Spin Doctors decided instead to spin a web of utter meaningless drivel, so nothing has changed at the DETI either.

The question; does the DETI Minister Arlene Foster retain full confidence in the National Trust Northern Ireland, has not actually been answered, so what should be read into this omission?

Maybe rightly or wrongly, reading between the lines, it could be assumed the DETI Spin Doctors are actually stating Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment (DETI) Minister Arlene Foster of the DUP, does not wish to be implicated in anything untoward allegedly rumoured to be involving the National Trust, and that she personally does not Trust the National Trust either!

Perhaps we should now invite the Minister to Join The Club!

NdTNI Northern Ireland Tourists National disTrust National Trust Northern Ireland!

Can the National Trust be Trusted with our £9.25 Million?

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy
It's been allegedly said that in politics a noble lie is a myth or untruth, which is all very well for those people with no concept of what actually constitutes the truth, those same people who have long since lost the ability of distinguishing between the telling of the truth and the incessant telling of untruths. There are people so habitually accustomed to telling untruths, that to them a bare faced blatant lie is their unwavering version of the truth for consumption by the 'peasants' of Northern Ireland. Those same recession torpedoed 'peasants' whose money keeps the privileged untouchables in the ivory tower extravagant life style to which they have allegedly become much to accustomed.

Can the National Trust be Trusted with our £9.25 Million? The Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment (Northern Ireland), were asked over at whatdotheyknow.com if it could be established whether in light of news that the National Trust Northern Ireland is allegedly rumoured to be operating at a significant annual deficit in Northern Ireland, the current rumoured allegations of alleged rumours of alleged serious allegations involving the Northern Ireland National Trust including alleged rumours of alleged misrepresentation for financial gain, and rumours of an allegedly rumoured investigation, did DETI Minister Arlene Foster seek to have the current audited accounts of the Northern Ireland National Trust fully examined, and were adequate open and transparent procedures put in place to ensure the £9.25 million channelled towards the National Trust for the Giant’s Causeway project, is not used for any other purposes by the National Trust, other than that for which it was intended?

Following is the reply to the aforementioned Freedom of Information request as received from Tourism Policy Branch of the DETI, otherwise known as the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment: ' In terms of investment in the Giant’s Causeway Project, the Northern Ireland Tourist Board (NITB) as a funder for such a large scale strategic project must ensure that it is economically and financially viable offering good value for money. The implementation of the Gateway Process, perceived as best practice, will assist in terms of ascertaining the project’s viability and robustness. The Giant’s Causeway Visitor Experience (GCVE) to date has progressed successfully through stages 2 and 3 of the Gateway process. NITB views GCVE as an exemplar of good governance. NITB is committed to the successful completion of the project and are confident that the new facilities will enhance the visitor experience along Northern Ireland’s premier driving route, the Causeway Coastal Route (CCR). Gilbert Ash was successful in the public tender to carry out the main construction works and work onsite is progressing well. NITB is confident that the project is on schedule for completion in 2012.

Regular meetings take place with National Trust through an established project board and funders forum. NITB and National Trust are dedicated to the project and every effort is being made to ensure the successful completion of the new visitor facilities at the Giant’s Causeway.

By way of clarification I should point out that the £9.25m funding managed by NITB is made up of £3.125m Government financial assistance and £6.125m from the European Regional Development Fund under the European Sustainable Competitiveness Programme for Northern Ireland. The National Trust will provide £6.25m towards the project and the Heritage Lottery Fund awarded financial assistance of £3m.'


Any Spin Bowler would be proud of the amount of spin in the foregoing response from the DETI, but please do note the actual query; did DETI Minister Arlene Foster seek to have the current audited accounts of the Northern Ireland National Trust fully examined, and were adequate open and transparent procedures put in place to ensure the £9.25 million channelled towards the National Trust for the Giant’s Causeway project is not used for any other purposes by the National Trust, other than that for which it was intended, were not actually answered, so presumably the answer is a resounding - NO!

Wednesday 9 February 2011

National Trust Professional Construction Company?

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy

Stupid question, but does any of the two photographs taken in January showing construction of new facilities at the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park inspire confidence in even the most optimistic person?

National Trust Professional Construction CompanyDo these images represent the work of dilligent professional building contractors who know what they're doing, or the work of amateur volunteers who know not what they do? Gilbert-Ash N.I. Ltd the construction company awarded the contract to build a new visitors' centre at the North Coast Quarry Attraction presumably decided the Castle Ward Caravan Park new site updates were out of their league, therefore was rumoured to have refrained from tendering for the huge contract. When 'completed' will this new 'construction' pass an Inspection by Health and Safety Officials, and officials from Downpatrick Regional Planning Office? Would you as a responsible caring parent permit your child to enter the 'completed' construction?

National Trust Professional Construction CompanyRemember the December 2010 communication from the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park proudly proclaiming how delighted they were to have received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating, which turned out to be something other than the truth, how unusual for the National Trust! Remember also the new site updates as mentioned in the same communication of December 2010?

Should the National Trust receive a 4 Star Rating from the Northern Ireland Tourist Board, the honest hard working experienced owners of safe, immaculate, honestly operated, genuine 2 Star, and 4 Star Northern Ireland Tourist Board Approved Caravan Parks throughout Northern Ireland will be asking serious searching questions of the NITB, and expecting truthful answers regarding the validity of the now meaningless NITB Grading Scheme.

Tuesday 8 February 2011

2 Star or NOT 2 Star? NOT CastleWard Caravan Park

NdTNI - National disTrust of National Trust Northern Ireland Policy
The Northern Ireland Tourist Board has confirmed the Castle Ward Caravan Park as owned and operated by the National Trust, does NOT have the 4 Star Northern Ireland Tourist Board Rating that the National Trust proclaimed they were so delighted to have received back in December 2010.

The NOT 2 or 4 Star CastleWard Caravan ParkSince then the Northern Ireland Tourist Board has also confirmed that the aforementioned National Trust owned and operated Castle Ward Caravan Park did NOT have a 2 Star Northern Ireland Tourist Board Rating either, NOT for many years, since 2004 to be more precise. This despite the fact the National Trust has been proudly displaying their Northern Ireland Tourist Board 2 Star Rating at the offending Castle Ward Caravan Park as the two photographs taken in January 2011, clearly show.
The NOT 2 or 4 Star CastleWard Caravan Park
Whether in the eyes of the law this is blatant fraud or not remains to be seen, many tourists though rightly allegedly believe they were at best misled by the National Trust for the sole purpose of financial gain, since 2004. Last year the 60% increase in fees was allegedly to bring the prices in line with other comparable sites in the area. Where are these other UNGRADED, UNRATED comparable sites in the area?

And what about the part played by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board in this nasty little plot to allegedly deceive tourists? The NITB are fully aware of the fact unsuspecting innocent tourists are now alleging fraud, that they were conned into believing the CastleWard Caravan Park had been 2 Star Graded by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board when it hadn't for many years, and furthermore they were then led to believe the CastleWard Caravan Park had received a 4 Star Northern Ireland Tourist Board Grading for 2011.

Should the Northern Ireland Tourist Board now fully explain the reasons that has led them to be satisfied with this despicable treatment of TOURISTS by the National Trust in Northern Ireland? Yes!

Should campers and caravan owners who have been paying customers of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park now receive a full unreserved public apology from the National Trust? Yes!

Should campers and caravan owners who have been paying customers of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park now have their fees returned, and receive financial compensation from the National Trust? Yes!

Monday 7 February 2011

Experience National disTrust Ballykaziyermaun 4 Star Spacecraft Park Experience

NdTNI - Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust National disTrust
Opening soon, where some mountains allegedly sweep down to the magically mythical sea of Landire, subject to planning permission not being applied for, or granted by the NdTNI Alien Planning Police, the all new singing dancing National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun 4 Star Spacecraft Park on Planet Ballykaziyermaun, subject to receiving R9.25 Million (Ballykaziyermaun Rubles) from the Ballykaziyermaun Tourist Plank for the purposes of excavating a newly disused quarry nearly next to the Sea of the Innersanctum of Tranquillity.

The new pricing structure for the all new Ballykaziyermaun 4 Star Spacecraft Park Declassified but deRatified by the Ballykaziyermaun Tourist Plank, is as follows:

One Spacecraft Landing Zone Area - R9.25 Million (Ballykaziyermaun Rubles) The price includes an allowance for 2 disease free Aliens.

Additionally each Alien Offspring will be charged an additional R9.25 Million (Ballykaziyermaun Rubles) per tentacle.

Additionally there will be an additional compulsory charge of R9.25 Million (Ballykaziyermaun Rubles) per Alien Unit for the purpose of experiencing the Great Ballykaziyermaun experience of non-existence existence experience.
Opening Hours: BKYM Time Zone 9.25 Planet Hours to BKYM Time Zone 9.25 Planet Hours.

Non-recession proof Alien peasants can make use of the alternative entrance scheme by entering the Ballykaziyermaun 4 Star Spacecraft Park via the Planet Anus entrance.

All other fee paying Alien peasants will be CLICKERED in to the Ballykaziyermaun 4 Star Spacecraft Park and possibly CLICKERED out as being CLICKERED in, and in, and in, and in, and in, and in, and in, and in, and in, and in, and Damn! CLICKER burnt out CLICKERING. What Alien peasant purchased CLICKERS from Planet Cheapjunkproducts.com?

Some unknown misinformed facts about National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun, and Planet Ballykaziyermaun.

Population Grand Total of Planet Ballykaziyermaun Alien Residents = 9.25 Million

Membership Grand Total of National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun Registered Alien Peasant Members = 925

Grand Total of Registered Alien Peasant Members Experiencing Ballykaziyermaun Experience Parks Daily = 925.925 Million

(Slight discrepancies in any allegedly rumoured illegitimate rumouredly alleged inflated figures should be ignored as being inflated with faulty over enthusiastic Ballykaziyermaun Alien peasant pumper management thingy.)

Grand Total Annual Loss Making Non-Profits = R9.25 Million (Ballykaziyermaun Rubles)

Memo to Ballykaziyermaun Alien Peasant Clicker Orderer: Order more CLICKERS!

Disclaimer: None of the foregoing is known to be true therefore it might be true, it might not be, or it could only be speculative conjecture as related by a fully conscripted Alien Member of the National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun

Saturday 5 February 2011

Why Do We Need The Northern Ireland Tourist Board When We Have The National Trust?

Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust National disTrust
Over at what do they know . com an obviously already irate tourist now seems to have taken umbrage with the response he received to a Freedom of Information request. In light of the ongoing saga of the National Trust having claimed they had received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4Star Rating for their CastleWard Caravan Park which turned out to have been totally untrue, a more than valid question was asked of the Northern Ireland Tourist Board by the aforementioned irate tourist.

What action had asked the irate tourist, would the Northern Ireland Tourist Board be taking against the National Trust for falsely claiming they had received a 4Star NITB grading when they clearly had not, and the existence of an alleged 2Star NITB Rating had also been questioned. In reply the NITB stated the Manager of the CastleWard Caravan Park, had been spoken to, and he had confirmed that the email they issued should not have included any reference to a star rating and that they would not be issuing any documentation or promoting a star rating until an inspection has taken place and an official notification of a star rating has been given.

Not exactly what the National Trust clarification email/letter from of 19th January 2011 said with lashings of ambiguity, and what about the new site updates that hadn't materialised either?

Nonetheless the Northern Ireland Tourist Board say they are now satisfied that this matter has now been resolved, which is all very well, but are any of the many irate tourists satisfied, many of whom feel they have been conned by the National Trust? No, they most certainly are not in the least satisfied with the stance taken by the allegedly toothless feeble Northern Ireland Tourist Board, but then again, what exactly can the NITB actually do about the allegedly all powerful National Trust?

Very soon, some suspect the National Trust will achieve what they've been allegedly rumoured to be allegedly vying for, the demise of the Northern Ireland Tourist Board, after all, who needs the NITB when the National Trust is allegedly rumoured to be allegedly promoting itself as the alternative. A relaxing walk through our pleasant countryside would, it might be alleged, very soon be affordable only by those rich enough to pay the exorbitant 'air that I breathe' fees as would allegedly be imposed by the new regime. Not such an exaggeration some might say, for haven't they already allegedly taken over a sizeable portion of the Province, so what or who will stop them from capturing the remaining few acres, and the air that we breathe?

In their response to the aforementioned Freedom of Information request the Northern Ireland Tourist Board more than once refers to the offending Castle Ward Caravan Park as 'premises' which leads us the website of the Northern Ireland Tourist Board where it states: 'Under the Tourism (Northern Ireland) Order 1992, all 'premises' in Northern Ireland offering tourist accommodation must be certified by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board (NITB).'

The NITB furthermore declares: 'NITB aims to provide advice and guidance to encourage world class visitor servicing in the tourism industry. This includes delivering a level of service which meets and exceeds the expectations of all visitors. This also involves the provision of excellent information and facilities.'

Fine noble words from an organisation allegedly losing the battle for supremacy of the Northern Ireland Tourism Policy, and does the provision of excellent information and facilities translate into the National Trust being given carte blanche to falsely claim during December 2010: 'As a result of a number of site updates Castle Ward is delighted to have received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating. New site updates include the following: Improvement of shower facilities (now separate female cubicles), New laundry facilities (token operated washer and tumble dryers), New indoor hot water washroom facilities, A small onsite shop. A new wide entrance with one way system for easy access, A new drive-on drainage post for camper vans’

The Northern Ireland Tourist Board, is an organisation that surely has, if not a legal duty to protect unsuspecting innocent tourists from alleged shysters, from wherever they might appear, most certainly they should have an alleged moral duty to do so, though before passing judgement it would most likely be prudent to establish if in fact they had any morals.

The Northern Ireland Tourist Board Rating Scheme has been shown to be nothing more than a meaningless worthless charade not to be trusted by any right thinking tourist. Can we ever again Trust the Northern Ireland Tourist Board?

Tuesday 1 February 2011

National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park 4Star Clarification

Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust National disTrust
Remember receiving the December 2010 correspondence from the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park which unambiguously proclaimed: 'As a result of a number of site updates Castle Ward is delighted to have received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating'

Despite what can only be described as ambiguous clarification from the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park in late January 2011, here is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about that Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4Star Rating. The National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park does NOT have nor will it have a 4Star NITB Rating or any other NITB Rating when the aforementioned National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park opens for the 2011 camping and caravan season, a fact that has been confirmed with clarity by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board.

Therefore ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, sit back; relax whilst a tale of woe is told. The Northern Ireland Tourist Board has most kindly confirmed with some authority the following. The National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park has not been a member of the Northern Ireland Tourist Board grading scheme for many years, therefore the aforementioned National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park on the outskirts of the picturesque village of Strangford, has for many years, including 2010, been an ungraded, unrated camping and caravan park, except perhaps in the minds of those much superior beings looking down upon the 'peasants' of the land.

The Inspector for the Northern Ireland Tourist Board grading scheme, visited the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park on 13th October 2010 and discussed improvement proposals to the facilities. The Inspector explained to the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park that NO assessment of the new facilities would be conducted until the work was complete.

The Inspector received an application by email from the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park on 3rd January 2011 and an invoice for payment has subsequently been issued. (The payment of invoices, cheques winging their way across the celestial sphere; are topics to be revisited on another day.) Take note dear friends of the date the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park applied by email to the NITB with a view to joining the scheme. The National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park informed campers and caravan owners during December 2010 that they had received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating, but now it has been revealed they had at that time not even applied to be considered for an NITB Rating

No inspection will be carried out until after the proposed improvements have been completed and the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park has reopened for the new 2011 camping and caravan season. Until that inspection is carried out and the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park is deemed to meet the required standards as set out in the star grading scheme - the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park will NOT have an NITB Star rating of any numerical figure higher than ZERO.

A full copy of the required standards is available to view here on the NITB website.

Therefore, if under the illusion you would be staying at a 4Star Camping and Caravan Park, you have made a booking for the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park, and paid in full as is required, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is, until such times as the NITB says otherwise, you will be staying at an UNRATED, UNGRADED by the NITB, National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park which is exactly what it has been for many years.

Very obviously, any rumoured allegations of whether or not the National Trust are guilty of fraud, or attempted fraud will be for others to investigate and decide, the rest of us will have to make our own judgement, but first there will be further revelations to consider.

Sunday 30 January 2011

National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park Planning Application Query

Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust of National disTrust
In the midst of the same correspondence circulated by the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park to Campers and Caravan Owners during December 2010 in which the National Trust Northern Ireland proclaimed with clarity: 'As a result of a number of site updates Castle Ward is delighted to have received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating' the following was also proclaimed with equal clarity: ‘New site updates include the following: ‘Improvement of shower facilities (now separate female cubicles), New laundry facilities (token operated washer and tumble dryers), New indoor hot water washroom facilities, A small onsite shop. A new wide entrance with one way system for easy access, A new drive-on drainage post for camper vans’

Following the shocking revelations that the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park had not in fact received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating as falsely claimed, further enquiries have since revealed the new site updates did not exist either, which has led to further questions being asked, and the first obvious question is simple: Why is the Northern Ireland National Trust allegedly deceiving members and customers alike with these alleged outrageously arrogant false claims?

As has already been eloquently stated elsewhere, considering the non-existent new as claimed in December 2010 constructions are to be eventually used by members of the paying public, including children, and the news that following complaints last year Health and Safety officials found it necessary to visit the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park, presumably it would therefore be in the interest of all concerned that any new constructions at the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park have been inspected and deemed to have been built in accordance with, and fully comply with, all current Building Regulations, and of course all current relevant Health and Safety Regulations. Therefore the following two highlighted links might prove to be interesting, and many thanks to he who rightly thought to ask the questions.

National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park planning application query. Down District Council was asked to clarify whether or not the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park applied for and was granted planning permission for the new onsite buildings which according to a letter sent to camping and caravan owners in December 2010 were at that time already completed?

National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park planning application. The Department of the Environment (Northern Ireland), has been asked if Downpatrick Regional Planning Office can clarify whether or not the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park @ Castle Ward Estate, Strangford, County Down, BT30 7LS applied for and was granted planning permission for the new onsite buildings which according to a letter sent to caravan owners in December 2010 were at that time already completed?

Thus far there has been no reply from either the Department of the Environment (Northern Ireland), or the Downpatrick Regional Planning Office, so we have to ask if charities and caravan parks are somehow exempt from complying with Northern Ireland current planning legislation?

Should campers and caravan owners who have been paying customers of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park now receive a full unreserved public apology from the National Trust? Yes!

Should campers and caravan owners who have been paying customers of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park now receive financial compensation from the National Trust? Yes!

When Was The National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park Awarded 4 Star Rating?

Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust of National disTrust
What do THEY know about the National Trust? Not for no reason do Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust National disTrust Northern Ireland Tourism Policy, if you can not Trust the National Trust, who can you Trust? For a little eye opening leisure time reading, follow the three highlighted links to discover the truth behind the lies, then also armed with the knowledge the National Trust has increased the fees for their Castle Ward Caravan Park at Strangford, by more than an incredible 90% within a 12 month period, decide what credence should be given to the current allegations of misrepresentation with intent to deceive for financial gain.

When was Castle Ward caravan park awarded 4 Star Rating? Perhaps you received the December 2010 letter, or email from the National Trust proclaiming to Campers and Caravan Owners: 'As a result of a number of site updates Castle Ward is delighted to have received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating.' The Northern Ireland Tourist Board has been asked on what precise date was the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park inspected by NITB officials for the purpose of granting said park NITB 4 Star rating? On what precise date did Northern Ireland Tourist Board officially grant the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park a 4 Star NITB Caravan Park Rating? What is the full criteria as laid down by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board for the granting of a 4 Star Caravan Park Rating? Read the clear precise answers from the Northern Ireland Tourist Board!

Northern Ireland Tourist Board, the National Trust and our £9.25 Million. The Northern Ireland Tourist Board has been asked if the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park at Strangford possessed a 2Star Northern Ireland Tourist Board rating for 2010 and if not when they last had an NITB rating if ever, and what action the Northern Ireland Tourist Board intend to take against the National Trust for falsely claiming they had been awarded a 4Star NITB grading for their Castle Ward Caravan Park at Strangford which has now been proven to have been a lie.

Should campers and caravan owners who have been paying customers of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park now receive a full unreserved public apology from the National Trust? Yes!

Should campers and caravan owners who have been paying customers of the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park now receive financial compensation from the National Trust? Yes!

Should you make a complaint to Trading Standards Northern Ireland alleging misrepresentation with intent to deceive for financial gain as others already have? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Trading Standards Northern Ireland Email: tss@detini.gov.uk
Trading Standards Northern Ireland Tel: 028 9025 3960 (ext: 53960)

Saturday 29 January 2011

Northern Ireland Tourist Plank 4 Star Spacecraft Park

NdTNI - Northern Ireland Tourist disTrust of National disTrust
Disclaimer: The National disTrust of Northern Ireland is not in anyway associated with any other organisation, charity, or Limited Company within the current secondary Universe, or with any other organisation, charity, or Limited Company possessing the remotest of similar secondary names, although Senior Management members of the non-existent National disTrust staff may at times claim to be in the employ of other non-related organisations of the planet Mars, all such claims should be regarded as mere fictional fairy stories from a twisted secondary warped speed mindset.

Membership of the National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun and its alleged illegitimate offspring the alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland is strictly restricted to official residents of the planet Ballykaziyermaun, and all illegal immigrants from the aforementioned planet Ballykaziyermaun now holidaying in an unspecified alien Spacecraft Park in Northern Ireland which in turn is allegedly awaiting official Northern Ireland Tourist Plank 4 Star Spacecraft Park Declassification.

An Alleged Appeal by the Alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland and Ballykaziyermaun

NdTNI - Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust National disTrust
A genuine heartfelt plea for Rubles from the National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun on behalf of its alleged illegitimate offspring the alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland. That's allegedly Norn Iron to the rest of the alleged population.

The alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland is of course the allegedly rumoured non-independent dependent subsidiary regional headquarters of the National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun, a great and noble planet situated just South West of the planet Earth, except on alternate Tuesdays when it is instead situated North West of the planet Mars.

The alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland is of course allegedly indistinguishable from it's non-domociled nomad parental greatness, the National disTrust of Ballykaziyermaun, a charity basket case, except on the days when it is an alleged profit making Limited Company.

*Donations of Ballykaziyermaun Rubles should allegedly be forwarded to the alleged National disTrust of Northern Ireland c/o The Big Rock Pile, Greater North West Ballykaziyermaun, BK66 6GC

*Current Exchange Rate: 1 UK Pound = 9.25 Million Ballykaziyermaun Rubles, or 9.25 Grams of Irish Spudz

Friday 28 January 2011

The National Trust Version of the Truth of the Lies

NdTNI - Northern Ireland Tourists disTrust National disTrust

'The Truth of the Lie' is a book by Gonçalo Amaral based on the criminal investigation into the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, an innocent little girl allegedly abandoned for the night, then allegedly abducted, or depending on which version of events you want to believe, allegedly murdered.

According to mail circulated in December 2010 to caravan owning National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park customers, the National Trust proudly proclaimed with clarity: As a result of a number of site updates Castle Ward is delighted to have received a Northern Ireland Tourist Board 4 Star Caravan Park Rating.'

And as if that wasn't enough to whet the appetite and have you rushing to make your bookings for the year, they further impressively claimed: 'New site updates include the following: Improvement of shower facilities (now separate female cubicles), New laundry facilities (token operated washer and tumble dryers), New indoor hot water washroom facilities, A small onsite shop, A new wide entrance with one way system for easy access, A new drive-on drainage post for camper vans, All year opening from 1 March 2011.' Haven't they been busy beavers since the end of October 2010?

Then came the questions from already disillusioned doubting National Trust Members, and former customers. When was Castle Ward caravan park awarded 4 Star Rating? asked one member of the public, and the official answer to the impertinent question? The National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park had NOT been awarded any Rating by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board as claimed by the National Trust.

Also revealed was the fact the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park had NOT been Rated at all by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board for many years, so why was the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park allegedly masquerading as a 2 Star caravan park prior to 2011, and how then do they justify the 60% site fee increase of January 2010?

Under the heading: Northern Ireland Tourist Board, the National Trust and our £9.25 Million, more questions were asked of the Northern Ireland Tourist Board, questions which thus far remain unanswered.

Having accepted bookings, and payments, (another increase in site fees making it approx 90% within 12 months) and having then been informed they'd been rumbled, the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park in a further mailing to customers on 19th January 2011, ambiguously proclaimed: 'I am writing to follow up my recent letter and to provide you with further clarification in relation to the Castle Caravan. In my earlier letter I indicated that we had received four star rating for the Caravan, but I did not make clear that this is subject to completing specific works.


Due to the very inclement weather conditions during December, work on the planned upgrade to bring the facilities fully up to four star rating was unavoidably delayed. I am pleased to say, however, that construction work is now well underway and on track for our opening date of 1 March 2011. We expect to achieve our new 4star rating from NITB following the completion of these works.


We look forward to welcoming you back to the site again soon.'

The truth regarding the alleged lie of the foregoing statement is thus, the National Trust Castle Ward Caravan Park will NOT have been graded or awarded a 4 Star Rating by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board when the Caravan Park opens on the 1st March 2011, nor will it have been graded or awarded a 2 Star Rating by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board.

Sceptics would probably allege misrepresentation with intent to deceive for financial gain, but why would a charity such as the National Trust attempt to allegedly deceive the public of Northern Ireland? Perhaps the rumours of the National Trust in Northern Ireland annually incurring huge financial losses, are not rumours after all.

Seem to remember reading someplace that it is better to ultimately succeed with the truth than to temporarily succeed with a lie, although personal dealings with Senior Management personnel of the National disTrust would thus far indicate the opposite appears to be their policy

Monday 24 January 2011

Can We Trust The National disTrust of Northern Ireland?

NdTNI - The National disTrust of Northern Ireland Tourism Plank
A previous Chairman of the National Trust apparently once said 'As one of the largest charities, independent of government we are dependent on the support of our 3.5 million members, our visitors, benefactors and our partners to help us find the huge resources necessary to protect and enhance this inheritance. If we fail future generations will not forgive us.
To make every pound count we try to manage our affairs efficiently as the best business so we have radically reformed the way we operate. And we must take decisions quickly, transparently and accountably to give people confidence in the way the charity is run and this is why we have introduced the most far-reaching governance reforms in the Trust’s history.'


A statement of considerable substance, one which takes time to fully digest, particularly so if you're a member, and/or customer, of the National disTrust of Northern Ireland.

Independent of Government! Why then has our dysfunctional Government found it necessary to hand over a reported £9.25 million of our money, and what foolproof safeguards, if any, are in place to ensure every penny of our money is used for the intended purpose - destroying the landscape of Northern Ireland for the allegedly rumoured sole purpose of cashing in on tourism?

Dependent on the support of members, and visitors - customers - to find huge resources! There is a need for the National disTrust to state how many members allegedly actually visit their properties in Northern Ireland, and from where those figures are allegedly summoned. When one realises the National disTrust receives for each visiting member - a 'subsidy' from the pot of the National Trust as a whole - one begins to wonder about what has allegedly been actually alleged, what has actually been witnessed.

Efficient management makes every £pound count! Some would argue otherwise, point towards alleged excessive extravagance, alleged sheer incompetence, alleged mismanagement to list but three allegedly much used phrases.

Quick decisions, transparency and accountably! Quite obviously a previous chairman who never suffered the misfortune of meeting local Senior Management. There are those members, customers who would make use of different words to describe their long drawn out ongoing experiences - and documentation to prove the truth of the lie.

Governance reforms for public confidence! Perhaps the aforementioned well meant speech from the previous Chairman was simply made too many years before the birth of the current National disTrust regime of Northern Ireland.

If we fail future generations will not forgive us! Quite correct, but neither is this generation likely to forgive this National disTrust regime of Northern Ireland.

Sunday 23 January 2011

NdTNI - The National disTrust of Northern Ireland

NdTNI - The National disTrust of Northern Ireland Tourism Plank
Northern Ireland
is as some would claim, a divided Country within a divided Country – on the Island of Ireland. Northern Ireland as the name would suggest is situated in Northern Ireland. Whereas it is part of the Island of Ireland, it isn’t Irish, it's British, part of the United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The others just happen to be located on another Island, slightly to the East of Ireland. Obviously it could have been worse, we could have been located even further West – America, not that we don’t have our fair share of Cowboys and Indians running amok throughout our fair land - or we could have been located even further North – Iceland, not that we don’t have our fair share of Iceland shops dotted around our towns and cities.

The people of Northern Ireland are British, or Irish – including the Cowboys and Indians – and those from other countries of course. The spoken language of Northern Ireland is English, because we’re British perhaps, although in Ireland, they also use the English language, because they’re Irish one might suppose – also in Northern Ireland the spoken language is Irish, if you’re Irish, not British, and then there is Ulster-Scots - an official language which isn’t – it’s a dialect you see, not a language at all, unless you live in Northern Ireland – it’s a Tribal thing you see, which brings us back to those Cowboys and Indians, many of whom reside in that Great Big House on the Hill.

And those folk on the hill, those allegedly rumoured to be our self serving political representatives, those alleged incompetents who have allegedly so maladministered the finances and functionality of our country - dare we trust them further, and if we cannot now even trust our own democratically elected government - who then can we trust - the National disTrust?

Kings, Queens and Clans of Northern Ireland - The New Regime

NdTNI - The National disTrust of Northern Ireland Tourism Plank
Most amongst us might have assumed like the Plantation of Ulster, the days of the Kings, Queens and their assorted Clans of Northern Ireland had long since passed into ancient history, but there are also those in our midst, those who would appear to have been ressurected. Perhaps it was the Troubles, the void left behind, the dysfunctional Government, the decimated police force, the society ripe for change - when would there ever be a more opportune time to build an Empire, a new Clan of administration, a new Ruler to reign over it?

Our aim is to hold the National disTrust here in Northern Ireland - to account.